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The N00b: When CEO’s Go N00b (6.30.15)



Virgin CEO Nearly Dies in W-Space. Ends up in Providence.

In what’s considered to be the most unheard of incident ever recorded in Virgin PLC history, CEO Richard Branson not only left Alentene, but ended up in Providence. This gripping tale of the week is one of high-adrenaline, ever-encroaching fear, and ultimately — a story of survival.

Sitting in a dark corner of R3’s Road Kill Cafe at the edge of Providence, Branson shakily sips his drink. The normally perfectly-manicured and composed CEO of Virgin PLC looks clammy, pale, and unshaven.

It was only supposed to be a quick trip to see what all fuss was about in a wormhole a fellow had found.”

As the beacon of knowledge and ‘dear old dad’ of the Virgins, Branson understands the risks and rewards of going into wormhole space. After all, he’s preached it enough to his fellow Virgins.

I was so struck by the number of signatures that came up in the system…15! Could you imagine what kind of isk that could be?”

His eyes glow gleefully as he recounts his find.

I was so excited. I immediately went in search of the signatures…only I also forgot to bookmark my location”. 

His sheepishly looks out the windows of the Cafe, toward the Misaba gate. Wreckages of n00bs flying through the gate without intel can be seen littering the region — attacked by cloaked gate-campers. He knows the risks involved with getting back to hi-sec. It was going to be a long night for him docked up.

The lure of w-space is heavily documented and a common issue amongst pilots seeking riches. But to an already well-established CEO and isk billionaire, it was an embarrassment.

Downtime came…when I went to find my wormhole, I realized it had closed up. For a moment I was struck with a sense of fear. What was I to do? I was on the wrong side of the wormhole, and I had no idea how to get back to the station. Luckily, I remembered I had probes with me”

After preaching the importance of probes for weeks with newly-minted Virgins, Branson had always known the day would come that he would have to face what he warned every pilot about.

It was the loneliness that got to me. Stuck in an unknown part of space where even the locals dare not speak for fear of a terrible death? I had only my wits and I knew that one wrong move would bring on swarms of ships ready to blow me out of the sky.”

After some time scanning, Branson was able to locate a wormhole.

All I knew was that I needed to get out of there. It didn’t matter where that wormhole lead as long as I was gone.”

In a strike of good fortune, Branson managed to find a wormhole that not only lead him out of w-space, but also into Providence.

Imagine my luck when I realize I’m in Providence. Why I have loads of friends down here! I’ve never visited them, nor do I have any idea where anything is…but at least I knew the locals wouldn’t kill me on sight like in the rest of Null-Sec!”

Will Branson escape safely from Providence and back to the safety of his cushy captain’s quarters? Only time will tell.


Want to add to The N00b? Send ideas, tips, feedback, etc. to Erani Daern or Skempo Dactyl.


The N00b: Just Another Day in Providence (6.29.15)


Dont mind me. Im just strutting.

Fleet Ops: A N00bs Thoughts

So I’ve spent the better part of a week partaking in fleet operations within the Providence bloc. After today’s participation in ‘lets get our territory back from those NC bastards’ with about 300 of my fellow fleeties (Read the backstory about why) , here are my thoughts as a n00b:

  • Comms is important. Make sure you’re in the right room on Mumble because chances are, the fleet commander isn’t going to be broadcasting shit
  • Mute yourself unless you’ve got something of importance to say. Which if you’re a n00b, means you have nothing to say
  • All the great fleets for USTZ folks happen at around 17-20:00 Eve Time, or for us west coast folks…early afternoon
  • There is at least one other confirmed female flying around Providence #equalityforall
  • Be polite and ask what fits they’re looking for — chances are you aren’t even capable of flying what they’re looking for…but thats okay! I throw down my n00b card and tell them I’ve only got a [insert frigate here]. If it’s a 250 person fleet, they’ll tell you which alternative fleet to join.If they’re in need of people, they’ll take you anyway and you’ll look like this:
Guess which one the n00b is!

Guess which one the n00b is!

  • There’s this place called ‘Zkillboard’ where everyone gets to see what you’ve been up to. When I went to see how I did…well click here. Count 5 and 7 from the bottom and you’ll see my beautiful mug, as well as another corp-member. #councilrepping

So join up folks. It’s not at scary as it seems. Just laggy.


PSA: Council is Recruiting Advert

In case you haven’t seen in either the Virgins or The Council lately, we’re in the middle of recruiting fresh meat. I recently came across an advert in-game for Council recruiting and couldn’t help but notice this incredibly important gem:

Friendly Fire: Legal

With that in mind, please test the legality of friendly fire at Robert Deniro.


Want to add your quips to The N00b? Send your ideas, feedback, thoughts, etc. to Erani Daern or Skempo Dactyl.


The N00b: Successes, Fails, and Everything in Between (6.28.15)

Helloooooooooooo fellow N00bs. Man, it’s been a week. This is why I told Panda I wanted this called The N00b, not the Daily N00b.



Don’t make me turn this ship around

When do YOU play? 

Come on folks. Batter up and post your play times here. 


You're just jealous.

You’re just jealous.

BREAKING NEWS: Richard Branson Left The Station

In a surprising turn of events last week, it took a Virgin lost in a wormhole to extricate Branson from his cushy Alentene station. Here’s what he had to say about the experience:

“I knew he was in trouble when he said he hadn’t bookmarked the entrance and had no probes”


With that in mind, here are Branson’s n00b bullets on the topic:

  • If you go into a wormhole, bookmark the location you entered w-space from.
  • Expect to die
  • If you get lost, go on corp chat and yell for Richard Branson





Russian Breaks Through R3 Gate Camp While Fellow Corp Members Troll On

In an attempt to show his Canadian Russian badassness, Galara Hakari thought he’d be a badass mother fucker by playing Russian Roulette while trying to enter Providence through Misaba. Listen to the entire recording, split with music by Branson:



Want to use the Forums? Add Your API

If you noticed that all of a sudden, you can’t access shit on the forums — it means you haven’t added your API to your forums profile. Go do it and join the conversation.


Want to add to The N00b? Send your tips, tricks, thoughts, and ideas to Skempo Dactyl or Erani Daern.




The N00b: More Places to Avoid (6.21.15)

Burn Amarr - EveNews24

Don’t be a statistic

Burn Amarr Still Going Strong

In case you haven’t noticed from our lovely Map set to ships destroyed in the last hour/last 24 hours, Burn Amarr isn’t just about the Amarr system (as we suspected). Goonswarms are going after the subsystems. Which means you should seriously be avoiding those systems unless you want to be a statistic.

Avoid these systems for at least the next 24 hours:

  • Amarr
  • Sarum Prime
  • Ashab
  • Madirmilire (2973 ships destroyed in the last 24 hours)
  • Niarja  (1960 ships destroyed in the last 24 hours)

It’ll make your routes extra long if you’re moving between hi-sec to Providence, but seriously, don’t be a n00b.

Want to see how Day 2 ended? Read it here on Eve24.


It can't possibly be that complicated...

It can’t possibly be that complicated…

Null Sec: Is it Really That Bad? Yes.

As people start snooping in Providence, we’re going to see some transition from Virgins to The Council. If you’re ever interested in switching over the Council, give Richard Branson a holler and he’ll give you a play-by-play on your options.

Here’s some basics on not getting podkilled immediately in Providence:

  • Expect you’re going to die…be hyperparanoid about it.
  • Cloak is your friend. Cloak, Cloak, Cloak.
  • Try to never warp to 0m to a spot in the system (unless you’re jumping, in which case see bullet #1). I personally like 100km, but you’ll find that others enjoy 200km…500km…basically perch spots.
  • Clones. I’ll eventually do an article on getting a clone since I know a number of you have no idea what I’m talking about.
  • Don’t fly with expensive implants unless you plan to lose them.
  • If you see red, run.
  • Assume everyone in the system has seen you in local, and has done a KOS (Kill on Sight) check on you if you’re a Virgin. To them you’re a neutral with no standing, and therefore a potential threat.
  • Don’t shoot anyone.
  • Don’t be an idiot on local.
  • Stay in Providence or The Catch
  • Get Richard Branson to give you a tour.


Want to add to The N00b? Send tips, tricks, ideas, articles, and feedback to Skempo Dactyl or Erani Daern. 

oV Fly safe.

The N00b: Such is Eve (6.20.15)

Burn Amarr - EveNews24


Burn Amarr: Still Happening. Tons killed.

I don’t think I’ve said it enough, but don’t go to Amarr.

Want details on how Day 1 went? Go to EveNews24 and get the scoop.


Don't let this be you

Don’t let this be you

Why You Shouldn’t Mine Alone: 2 Podkills in 24 Hours

While The Council may currently be quiet, The Virgins sure aren’t! We’ve got a bit of a wardec issue happening right now, and I can assure you that they’re hunting solo Virgins down.

Here’re the quickest ways to get killed:

  • Mining alone
  • Mining alone
  • Mining alone

With over 100 million ISK lost in this war so far, we’re making it profitable for these guys to continue to kill us. So, in case you’re not quite understanding me — don’t mine alone.

The most common quote I’m hearing from our fellow mates getting killed are “one minute local was clear and the next, BAM”. In fact, I’ve heard that from every person who’s gotten ganked so far. Don’t let the next repeat of this phrase be you.

How you ought to mine:

  • Bring a buddy. Galara and Sor’ia are great folks to bring with you since they’re frothing at the mouth for PvP.  Branson’s another good choice if you can extricate him from the station.
  • Use a Clone — seriously, if you’re going to mine in hi-sec during a war…don’t have expensive implants
  • Ensure everyone in the war’s on your watchlist (set to terrible) and only mine when it’s clear.
  • Ensure you’ve got your travel-fit. Nanofiber and Warp Stabilizers are good things to have.
  • If you see red in local, run.
  • Read Khad’s Mining update for more information.




We’re Recruiting: Let’s Add More Virgins and Council

Did you know we’re recruiting? Richard Branson‘s been leading the charge for the Virgins and Robert DeNiro is leading the charge for The Council. Let’s do our part.

  • Keep an eye out for folks who are returning or new who look like they’d be a great fit.
  • Bump our recruitment thread. Or add some super awesome words.
  • Respond to threads from newbies and returnees and link them to our recruitment thread.

The more people know about us, the more interest we’ll generate. Of course, we’d also probably generate more wardecs, but hey — such is Eve.




Calling USTZ: We need YOU

Whether you’re in The Council or Virgins, it’s pretty obvious how sparse the place is during the evening hours in America and Canada. While great for solo exploring nullsec (seriously, I’m not kidding), it can get pretty lonely for Miners and whatnot. If you’re around, give a holler on the corp channels. If you’ve got friends looking to join a corp — bring them in (provided they meet the criteria)!

Suddenly, this turned into another recruitment article….


Want to submit to The N00b? Send emails, requests, tips, tricks, and news to Skempo Dactyl or Erani Daern.


Skempo Dactyl/Erani Daern

The N00b: 6.19.15 New Site, Oh…and Amarr’s Burning

Burn Amarr: Happening Right Now

In case you haven’t heard the news, stay away from Amarr.

Here’s an excellent reason why:

Just ignore the poor choice of background music.

New Corp Website. New Corp Forums. More Ways To Be Awesome.

In other news, thanks to the efforts of Pandarus Vyvorant and the cheers of Richard Branson, we now have a nifty new corp site here: http://www.virgincouncil.com. It’s a joint site with The Council. Brilliant idea Branson.

Clearly under construction, but the key thing is to get yourself registered on the forums here.

We’ll hopefully be able to begin getting things set up on the forums so that you have a one-stop shop for all n00b-related needs. And a vacation thread so Sor’ia Tehuilochtil can post again about being the luckiest corpmember right now and heading to South America (o7).

Do yourself a favor and bookmark them now
Exploring Nullsec? Here’s what you need to know:

* Stay in Providence & The Catch
* You’ll be flying in pretty blind, so follow the laws of the land: Local & Cloak. Always.
* Train Covert Ops IV so you can get a Covert Ops Cloaking Device. As fellow n00bs may not know, it lets you warp cloaked.
* Expect to die, and trust no one unless they’re blue.
* Don’t go through strange rifts in sleeper cache data sites until you’ve watched this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghl4cveXzQs

Submit To The N00b. Send ideas, tips, tricks, and general good to knows to me, Skempo Dactyl.

Note: The N00b is intended to be a communication newsletter designed for more than weekly communication. This does not however mean that you’re going to be spammed daily.


– Skempo Dactyl (aka Erani Daern)