The N00b 3.31.16: The Downfall of Empires…and N00bs

The Fall of the Goons:


Holy. Shit. Most of you folks have been around a fair bit now, so there are few n00bs left to explain the significance of this potentially epic great war that’s unfolding. I’m not going to get into it. Instead, I’m going to have you go to the pseudo-official source that can explain it better than this ol’ n00b can.

Where does this leave us? The ones living it up in our part of nullsec? Jury’s out folks. We’ll see what happens with Evictus and Provi. Personally? My ass is expecting some seriously epic battles ahead of us however we plan to participate officially.

Corebloodbrothers Takes 200-man Provi Fleet to Goon Space

download (1)

So we all know and love Corebloodbrothers. The great Fleet Commander of Providence. The one with the epic fleets. The giant fleets. The one where there are support fleets for the support fleets. Today Core decided to take a 200-man fleet of armored battlecruisers to goon space and cause a little trouble.

Some may ask – but why? You n00b. Read the first article.

In any case, that space is locked up tighter than a maximum security prison right now. Now I got this all second hand mind you from those who participated and whatnot, but it looks like the fleet was hit with gate camp after gate camp. Some let them through. Some didn’t. At the end of the day, the remnants of the great fleet from Provi (who was really just there just to have a bit of fun) ended up hold up in a station waiting for an opportunity to show itself. Luckily, someone had some scanning shit with them because a wormhole was discovered and a tiny group was able to make it out with their shit.

Moral of the story? Insure your ship.

Erani Daern Lives Up To Her N00b Status Seconds After Logging In


After another great hiatus from The N00b pilot Erani Daern, within a second of logging in managed to pull a major n00b moment by realizing she was in her buzzard, 150m isk in cargo, sitting in the middle of a region of nullsec clearly owned by reds. How would she know that? The giant red fleet in front of her. In a stroke of quick thinking, she was able to get a cloak up before anyone was able to get a lock on her…HOWEVER, not the ideal way to log in.

Now, a lot of us like to explore and shit. So listen up.

Moral of the story: Don’t log off in space.

I mean, if you’re going to do it because you’re lazy as fuck (or high) and are 30+ jumps from a friendly station…at least find a better hiding spot than in front of a well-travelled gate. Each buzzard properly fitted is going to cost you north of 50m isk all in (you people not using sister probes are epic n00bs). That’s on top of any implants you may have on (if you’ve got implants on exploring in enemy territory in nullsec, you deserve to be podded). And any cargo you might have obtained.

The sites are rich with high-isk stuff. You’re going to have epic cargo holds full of amazing shit to sell. Don’t risk it.

Unless of course, you’re bankrolling deep and have a fleet of those fully-fitted buzzards just waiting for you back in the F-Y.

No, bad advice. Even then it’s a terrible decision.

That Time Aulorana Equlisers Aggresses Without FC Approval


Council member Aurolana Umbranox managed to get herself blown to bits after accidentally aggressing a red while in fleet before the FC said to aggress. As any sane woman would do in that situation, she tried to jump the gate and run like a bandit. No Bueno. Doesn’t work like that. So what does a desperate, near-crazed woman do? Randomly jump to different planets. Well, here’s the problem. You can only jump to so many random locations during a fight before you drop yourself into a hotbed of shit.

Therein lies the conclusion to this tale. Aurolana jumps into a mob of reds and gets ganked.

Moral of the story: Don’t aggress before you’re told to.


This takes more than one person to run! Submit your thoughts, experiences, wishes, complaints, etc to Erani Daern or Gnimral. oV

For actual N00bie tips on Eve, check out Shinzo’s blog: 


Related Post

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *